5 Steps to Modify Behavior with Problem Children

At Intralife Performance Center about half of our clients are children. "Does neurofeedback help with defiant and uncooperative behavior?" is not an uncommon question I hear. I believe neurofeedback is miracle for many but it doesn't fix everything and uncooperative behavior can be one of those. I am not saying that neurofeedback can't help improve unwanted behaviors but generally much of the problem lies in how the parent disciplines the child.  Once that is changed  the child's behavior becomes different.

Here is one of my favorite techniques to modify behavior with children. 

1. Make a list of literally every single thing your child like, loves, and adores. Things that have no value or meaning to the child should not be put on the list. 

2. Make a list of behaviors and actions that will receive negative consequences.

3. Make a list of positive actions and behaviors that your child can do to earn back what they lost.

4. Next sit down with your child and let the know your new plan. Teach them that almost every choice has a positive or negative consequence. Show them your list. Tell them that each time they do something they are not suppose to, such as the actions on the unwanted behaviors list, they will have an item on the beloved things list taken away as a negative consequence (I generally suggest going straight down the list so the child knows exactly what they will have taken away next). Last, tell them that they will have the opportunity to earn back the things they have lost if they do the things found on the list of positive actions and behaviors.When they earn back their toy then that's a positive consequence to a good choice.

5.  And lastly, parents you must be consistent with this. Don't be afraid of taking away every single item on the list.  Don't budge on the consequence. Kids will take advantage of you and nothing will change if you don't follow through each time an action or behavior deserves a consequence.

I hope this helps! If you have another way of effectively modifying your child's behavior, help others out and let us know!